It was the end of the day on Friday and we had just finished school.  I had worked hard all week and was mentally spent.  Fortunately, my housekeeper was there so I asked her if she didn’t mind if I left the children at home (to play quietly) while I went to exercise for an hour.  Thankfully, that all worked out, so off to the gym I went.

Driving in the car by myself, listening to my music of choice was nice.  Then, when I got to the gym I was looking forward to plugging in my ipod and hitting it hard with cardio for 30 min.  (I am still trying to work off the 5 lbs. I gained on a vacation in February.)  I situated myself on a Precor machine.  I even found one available outside and it was a beautiful day.  Things were all going well until I went to plug in my ipod and realized that instead of bringing the earphones, I accidentally picked up my husband’s ear bud for his phone.  Ugggh!  There went my music time and part of my motivation to stay on one of those “torture” machines for a full 30 minutes.  But, no, I was going to persevere!  I decided I was going to do my full 30 minutes and reflect on my own life.  This sounded good and I was glad that I wasn’t inside where I would have been bombarded by televisions.  At least outside, with the fresh air, I could think. 

The other day I read a blog by David Murray entitled, God’s Been Hunting Me Down (see it at http://headhearthand.posterous.com/gods-been-hunting-me-down).  This blog hit home with me in many ways as I am a very productive person.  I have always been a doer and as a result have been able to accomplish and succeed and many things in life.  Although, I realize that this is a God-given strength, but just like any virtue, it can be my vice too.  One of the points he made in his article was to “slow down”.  He resolved to eat slower, drive slower, and just live at a slower pace.  With homeschooling three children, and one child that seems to operate on fast-forward, this was very appealing.  I would love to slow down.  I would love to have more margin time.  I would love to have more time like right now …to just think.  (Okay true, I was on the cardio machine.)

I know that life needs balance and the only person who is going to give that balance to my life, is me.  The only way I will be able to slow down is to say “no” to people, to activities, and to opportunities.  However, I have to be cautious not to fall into the foolishness of extremes.  This doesn’t mean I have say no to everything, but rather insure that the doing in my life is what I want (or ought) to be doing.  I only have so much time.  I need to choose wisely, not just try to pile on more and then work harder.  I need to make rest and refreshment a priority.  That is the only way I can live slower.  Then, what I do, I will do well.  To me that is much better than trying to do more.  I am always telling my children to slow down their reading, writing or piano playing so that they can do it well.  I could learn from my own advice.

After this lovely time of reflection I looked down and realized I had finished my 30 minutes.  I began to slow down to get off the machine and when I did I looked at the display.  It was blinking adamantly “PEDAL FASTER”.  I looked at the machine and said out loud, “NO”.  Then I got off.

The Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered, how He had said to him, “Before the rooster crows today, you will deny me three times.” And he went out and wept bitterly. [1]

This week in which many followers of Jesus reflect upon His betrayal, death and resurrection…

We are invited to contemplate; how the Lord turned and looked upon Peter. 'Can you imagine with what a face our Lord looked upon Peter, who had thrice denied Him, after confidently affirming that he would go with Him to death? Would that that face would shine upon us with whatever reproach when we in word or deed deny Him, that so we too may remember and weep.' How the heart rises to such teaching as this––the simple presentation of Christ as He walked among men. Well did our Lord say, 'I, if I be lifted up, will draw all men unto Me.' The pity of it is that He, the altogether lovely, is so seldom lifted up to our adoring gaze. Perhaps, when our teachers invite us to behold the face of Christ, we shall learn the full interpretation of that profound word. He will draw all men, because it is not possible for any human soul to resist the divine loveliness once it is fairly and fully presented to his vision.[2]

We often interface with the Gospels, not beholding the face of Christ, but the behavior of humankind. This philosophy keeps us on the descending path. As teachers, we need to change our gaze. And in turn our students will see what we see, ascend and live. What might this Holy Week look like if we contemplated the Adorable One?

[1] Gospel of Luke, 22:61-62 (ESV)
[2] Charlotte Mason, Parents and Children, p. 138

We should teach children not to 'lean' (too confidently) 'unto their own understanding,' because the function of reason is to give logical demonstration of mathematical truth and of an initial idea, accepted by the will. In the former case reason is, perhaps, an infallible guide, but in the second it is not always a safe one, for whether that initial idea be right or wrong, reason will confirm it by irrefragable proofs.

Therefore children should be taught, as they become mature enough to understand such teaching that the chief responsibility which rests on them as persons is the acceptance or rejection of initial ideas. To help them in this choice we should give them principles of conduct and a wide range of the knowledge fitted for them.[1] 

The other day, I was talking to a boy that was out of sorts with his teacher. She had taken his watch away because he was playing with it. He went on to say, “This isn’t fair, another boy was playing with his watch, and nothing happened to him. The teacher is always…”

I listened and then agreed with him that life is indeed unfair. Then, I asked a question, “Do you know why the teacher did not speak to the other boy?”

“No”, he replied.

I said, “Because she did not see him playing with his watch, she saw you.” And then I gave him another idea. “You have been hurt before by unfairness. It hurts doubly much, to be hurt in the same way over and over again. How about letting go of the initial hurt and responding as if you were not hurt at all.”

After all, is this not what "growing up" is about – leaving the childish things (hurts) behind?

In the January 20 edition of Time Magazine, there appeared an article asking this question. The article is a response to Amy Chua’s new book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. Time’s article, and presumably the book, leave one wondering: Is it good parenting to forbid your daughter’s attendance at slumber parties, to forbid computer games, and to make her sit at a piano for five plus hours (until she gets it right)?

Good parenting, like good teaching begins with the knowledge that children are born persons. They bear the very image of God. As such, every child must be loved, cherished and treated respectfully.

Children are born “with a sense of may and must not, of right and wrong.”[1] None-the-less, they are by nature often weak and ignorant, selfish and lazy. Thus, they must not be left to their nature. Sadly, “this is precisely what half the parents in the world, and three-fourths of the teachers, are content to do…

Well aware of our stance towards them, children “are always playing a game – half of chance, half of skill; they are trying how far they can go, how much of the management of their own lives they can get for the taking, and how much they must leave in the hands of the stronger powers.” 

It is the duty of parents to be the “stronger power”, to support each child in doing what she “ought”, especially when she lacks a self-compelling will.  In doing so, a “stronger power” exhibits the strength of a peaceful and fixed presence. There is no need for anxious invocations, name-calling, lectures or threats. At times, this means peacefully sitting on a piano bench beside the child, while she repeats each measure again and again. At other times, it requires overseeing from afar. In either case, the child must reckon with the presence of duty and must.

Growing children to maturity requires great effort from both directions – that of the parent and that of the child. On any given day, at any given time, it may not be easy. This is tough parenting! It is the office of parenting. Parents are compelled by duty to bring up every child to be his or her best.

[1] Charlotte Mason, Home Education, p. 14.
[2] Charlotte Mason, Home Education, p. 102.
[3] Charlotte Mason, School Education, p. 31.